Did you read about this guy recently who had been drinking, decided to climb a fence and jumped into the Niagara river, heading over the falls? According to the news, he became the only person known to have survived a plunge over the falls without a safety device.

After this man was released from a hospital and arrested, he told reporters that he had been suicidal but that this experience made him want to live.

This is what we call learning from the "power of contrast." He wanted to die and then found out that maybe he didn't.

When we read about this man's "adventure," we thought that it was a good illustration to answer a question from one of our newsletter subscribers.

Our subscriber had a question about a quote by Robert Johnson that we used in one of our newsletter articles which was...We forget that in falling in love, we must also come to terms with what we find annoying, distasteful and intolerable in each other and also in ourselves. Yet it is this confrontation that leads to our greatest growth.

Our subscriber asked, "I would dearly love to know how to confront these things in a way that promotes this growth. Can you help?"

In our experience, there are at least three ways to not just "confront" but also come to terms with and embrace the things we find annoying, distasteful and intolerable in other people and in ourselves.

These ways are:

1) These annoyances can signal a place within you where you may need to grow next or something you may need to attend to.

Recently, Otto sprained his ankle and has found it very annoying to not be able to walk and move as he normally likes to. But, as he reflected on the "real" energetic cause of his sprained ankle, it may have been a signal for him to slow down since we have working much longer and harder than normal on several projects during the past month. His "growth edge" may be to continue to appreciate the passion with which he approaches everything in his life, while at the same time learn balance.

2) These little (or big) annoyances may be magnifying some behavior within you that you need to look at and possibly change.

Several years ago, Susie supervised several employees. At times when she found that these employees were not completing various projects to her satisfaction, she jumped in, took over and "saved the day."

In the process of "taking over," she tended to insensitively step on her employees' "toes," making them feel inadequate and incompetent. As luck would have it, she attracted a boss to her who treated her the same way she had treated her employees.

Because she got to feel firsthand how her employees must have felt, Susie changed the way she supervised them to reflect a more "team" approach. She learned to not rush in and "take over" but rather give encouragement and help if asked.

3) As we said earlier, there is a lot to be learned by the power of contrast.

By looking at what you find distasteful about others, you are able to determine what you want and what you don't want in your life.

For example, we get many pleas for help from people in relationships where they are not being honored in various ways or even abused by their partners.

Those people have the opportunity to look at their partner's behavior and decide if this is what they want in their life. They are given the opportunity to begin saying what they want and if they are still not being honored, begin making the changes that will bring them the life they deserve.

So, in giving you these examples, we've given you perhaps a different way to look at what you find annoying and distasteful in others and in yourself.

If you are finding that you are becoming annoyed, upset or irritated with other people's behavior (or even you're own), take this opportunity to look within yourself and ask, "What can I learn from this situation?"

By asking this simple question, you will find yourself healing and growing in ways that you never felt were possible.

© Otto & Susie Collins
Life Channels Staff Writers
All Rights Reserved

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