No matter when it happens, a breakup or divorce can and usually does rock a person's world to the very core.What most people don't realize is that their future success in relationships is directly related to how much they learn from those breakups and how they move forward after the breakup in their lives.
As Relationship Coaches, we've identified six ways to getting over a broken heart and moving forward with your life after a breakup or divorce. We've found that these are areas that you must deal with in order to heal, let go and move on to creating more love in your life.
With that being said, here are the six keys:
1: Make a commitment to yourself to do what is necessary to actively heal your broken heart. When you have experienced a relationship breakup, its often tempting to wallow in your painto play music that reminds you of your old partner, to visit places where you went together as a couple, and to constantly think about that other person. Even if you were the one who initiated the breakup, there usually is pain whether it's recognized or not. While its important to give yourself time and space to grieve, its also important to start doing things that will be loving to yourself and that will help you to heal.
2: Take responsibility for your share of what happened in the relationship that ended. That certainly doesn't mean blaming yourself but it does mean examining what went right and what went wrong. What can you learn from what went "wrong" and how can you be a better person in your current and future relationships? You future success in relationship depends on whether you learn from what happened and do it differently the next time.
3: If you had jealousy issues or infidelity in the relationship that broke up, you need to learn how to get to the root of that jealousy and why there was infidelity before you get in a new relationship. You may have been in a series of past relationships where your partner cheated on you. You may have low self-esteem issues. You may have had a habit of flirting with people other than your partner to get your partners attention. Whatever the reason, jealousy and/or infidelity eventually tend to destroy relationships and the time to heal it is now as you examine what happened in your last relationship and take responsibility for healing within yourself.
4. Begin learning how to trust--yourself and other people. When there has been a breakup and you have been hurt, its often difficult to open your heart one more time. You also usually have a lot of questions about whether you can trust yourself in another relationship, let alone trusting another person. We suggest that you take the time to begin learning to trust again and that begins with learning to trust yourself first. Get to know yourself in ways that you may have not done before. Get to know what you want and what you don't want in your life.
5: If your previous relationship that broke up because it lacked intimacy and connected love making, begin to take stock on what you want in a new relationship. You can have it as your intention to have more connected love making in a new relationship if you start focusing on the new relationship instead of looking outward for the attention and love that they arent getting or to the past in what used to be with other partners. Learning to stay in the present moment is certainly a key to creating better love making in a new relationship.
6: In order to heal and move on from a relationship breakup, you have to begin envisioning what you want for a new relationship and what you want in your life.Weve found that when you have a clear idea about exactly what you want in a new relationship, that type of relationship comes to you and your perfect partner will show up. Although we advise not getting into a new relationship until you are well on your way to healing from the one that broke up, it's very helpful to begin creating what you want your new life to look like.
© Otto & Susie Collins
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