A little while ago, Otto and his son saw the film "Antwone Fisher" and it made a significant inpact on both of them. For those of you who haven't seen it yet, we highly recommend it.

Rather than ruin the story for you, we'll just say that the message from this truly wonderful film was about not holding onto painful past events.

It was about moving forward to create the life you want. We think that holding onto painful past events in our lives is a huge stumbling block for many relationships.

When we hold onto this pain, even when we don't acknowledge that pain is there, we keep others at a distance, even our loved ones.

This pain we're talking about isn't necessarily physical pain but rather thoughts, feelings and emotions, from traumatic events in our lives.

A traumatic event for one person may not be traumatic for another person. It's all in how the event is perceived.

We're not saying that it's always easy to let go of the memory of these events and the emotional hold they have on our lives.

What we are saying is that whether these events happened 20 years ago, 5 months ago, or 5 minutes ago--if you don't find a way to heal, those memories interfere with having the relationships and life that you want.

What are you holding onto that prevents you from having the relationships and life you want?

Up until now, what have you not been willing to let go of in order to move forward in your life?

Letting go begins to happen when you make the decision to do it. It isn't always a short, easy process and we've found that healing is usually a gradual unfolding.

The only reason it's not a short, easy process is that there are things we aren't ready to acknowledge, embrace and feel.

We've discovered that when we are able to take a step toward healing the past, it helps to make it a tangible one.

We have found that creating and doing a ritual with the intent to help us let go of a particular situation has been a powerful way to begin the healing process.

Here are just a few examples of healing rituals that we and others have created. Keep in mind that these examples are just one step in the healing process. You may want to seek the help of a professional.

**When Susie was trying to let go of her 30 year marriage and move on with her life, one of the rituals she found useful was to go to a nearby lake and say some words of thanks for the time she had with her husband. As she did that, she poured his English Leather cologne, that she had loved, into the lake. It felt very freeing to allow the cologne, that symbolized her attachment to this marriage, move out with the action of the water.

**As an ongoing ritual, a friend verbally "throws" her fears off a fire tower in a nearby state forest.

**Another person we know listened to one musical group over and over, during the breakup of a significant relationship. He was stuck in his mourning of the relationship and couldn't move forward with his life. He burned 17 of the cd's in his collection of this musical group as a demonstration to himself that he no longer needed to hold onto that painful situation.

**One woman we know is in the process of healing from several past relationships where she felt she hadn't been authentic with these partners. She decided to write letters explaining how she really felt with these partners--some she mailed and some she didn't. In both cases, the process of writing the letters was very cathartic for her.

**At the beginning of our relationship, as our symbol for moving forward with our lives together, we had a "letting go" ceremony at Bald Head Cliffs in Maine.

At the end of the ceremony, after energetically thanking our previous partners for their contributions to our lives, we threw our wedding rings from our previous marriages into the crashing waves.

So this week, if anything is holding you back from creating the relationships and life you want, we encourage you to make the decision to do whatever is necessary to begin your healing process. A ritual is one thing that we have found to be very helpful.

So, let the celebrating begin.

© Otto & Susie Collins
Life Channels Staff Writers
All Rights Reserved

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