#3 on The Top 10 List Of Things YOU Can Do
To Create World Peace is . . .

Listen

It has been shown that most violent acts or acts of outrage or anger occurred because the perpetrator hadn’t felt heard.

If you think about it, this makes sense. If someone has so much pain or hurt inside and no one is listening to them, the only way they know how to be heard is often through violence or rage.

Have you ever been talking to a spouse or significant other, and felt like they weren’t listening to you, and it just made you even more mad, or outraged? I know I’m not the only one that this has happened to.

I have been involved with Toastmasters for almost three years now, and I realized that not only do they teach you speaking skills, but they also teach you listening skills. Every speaker has an evaluator and a grammarian. Both of these roles require active listening.

I have noticed that many people have mastered the art of talking, but how few of us are equipped with listening skills.

Again, not passive listening, like the proverbial, “yes, dear” response we often give to our significant others, but active listening.

I heard a technique (no pun intended) that talked about an effective way to encourage active listening.

Technique For Active Listening

• When one person is talking, the other person devotes their entire energy toward that person. So the listener actively maintains eye contact with the person who is talking and listens very carefully without interrupting them, until they are completely finished with their thought.
• Once the person is finished talking, the listener repeats back to them in his/her own words what they just said.

Often times using this technique the listener will pick up on the unspoken words, the body language and the feelings behind what the person is saying.

Using this technique really allows the person who is talking to feel like they’ve been heard. Plus, it also avoids any miscommunications or misinterpretations because when you repeat back to them what you thought you heard them say, they can correct you if you were off base.

I encourage everyone to try this technique with a partner and notice the results.

Especially if you have someone in your life that says, “You never listen to me.” Try this and see what happens…

© Lisa Hepner
Life Channels Staff Writer
All Rights Reserved

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