We've all heard the cliches. 'You have nothing to fear but fear itself' is a classic people throw around. I've analyzed that one time and again and it simply makes no sense. We have the right to fear everything. Even getting up in the morning is a risk that we take. When I'm afraid to speak to other people, I'm afraid that I will get embarrassed or put down. That's a legitimate fear, because that could very well happen. I'm not afraid of the emotion of fear, I'm afraid of the emotion that could happen if I face my fear!

We're afraid of the 'what ifs' because, in life, we never know what responses we're gonna get. We can plan everything out. We can be the best people we know how to be. But that still doesn't change how others will respond to what we do. No matter how well we think we know someone, people surprise us every day. We are too complex of a species to be predictable.

It is healthy to fear. Fear only causes us to make bad decisions when we don't relate to others. Fear loves to over-individualize things for us. It can make us feel like we're the only one that knows what we're feeling. But when we take the time to be rational, we see that this is extremely self-centered and we have no way of knowing if our fears are too deep and personal to be shared.

Don't let anybody tell you that you can't be afraid of something. Don't let anybody tell you that what you're feeling is unnatural and ridiculous. You have every right not to feel fine or okay about anything. The only thing I ask is for you to talk about what you fear with someone that you trust.

A good example for this lesson is the concept of homophobia. A person who insults and spreads lies about gays rarely talk about their hatred and fear of gay people. In fact, they haven't even admitted that they fear/hate gays in the first place. This is exactly why they stay afraid and hateful. When you deny having feelings, and more importantly deny that those feelings are YOUR feelings (i.e., God hates gays - it doesn't matter what I say) then you've let fear trap you.

So is being afraid of gay people a legitimate fear? I'd contradict myself if I said no. I just think that if people who fear gays honestly talk about what they're afraid of and assume responsibility for their own fears, they'll eventually see that things like the 'gay agenda' and the 'gay lifestyle' just don't exist.

Whatever happens to you and whatever you think may happen, remember that you have everything to fear but fear itself. The key is that when you feel overwhelmed, talk about what you fear so that you do not make choices that will harm you and the people you love.

© Sam Leonard
Life Channels Staff Writer
All Rights Reserved

Close Window To Return To Leonard Article Archive