I know a person named Mary Sue (name changed to keep her privacy) who hasn't yet learned the beauty of forgiving. She believes that forgiveness is a sign of weakness. If she wrote a dictionary according to her belief structure and you'd look up the word 'Forgiveness', the definition would state: Allowing others to get away with the pain they have inflicted upon me.

Mary is not completely wrong. Her offenders should be held responsible for any hurt they caused her, or at least the willingness to explain themselves if the hurt wasn't intentional. However, Mary believes that forgiveness is something that people don't deserve instead of something she needs. At times, Mary even uses the fact that people hurt her in the past to avoid helping others and herself. The reason Mary shouldn't 'play a victim' is because there's no need to. We're all victims in some way or another, and it's anti-empowering to add that extra burden.

The sad thing? Mary isn't alone. There are many other people all throughout the world who think, act, and feel the same way. That if we forgive others, it's a sign that we're weak, that we're a pushover. Many argue that some actions are 'unforgivable.' They're missing out on the important notion that forgiveness is more about helping the party that was hurt than helping the party that did the hurting.

Why? Because when we hold on to anger or hatred towards other people, we cannot grow as the beautiful spiritual beings that we are. Holding onto that grudge isn't destructive because an eye for an eye just might make the whole world go blind, it's bad because it interferes with the victim's ability to heal him/herself.

Every degree of hurt in the world should be forgivable. This is true not only because it's a vital aspect of many religions and spiritual pathways-but also because it makes logical and secular sense. Forgiveness allows us to accomplish what human beings were really called for: To love one another as we love ourselves. To become vengeful like Mary and refuse to forgive somebody because we think they 'don't deserve it' will only get in the way of every human's responsibility to follow the golden rule.

As for any punishment people deserve for hurting other people, they're really getting most of their punishment already by simply harming others in the first place. I know many people whose lives are ruined, ruined in all ways imaginable. They're ruined not because other people took vengeful action and 'got them back' - they're destroyed because of the choices they made. Now I encourage all their victims to forgive these people whose lives are wasted. Not because they should pity them, but because it's part of healing themselves. And that my friends, is what the power of forgiveness is all about.

© Sam Leonard
Life Channels Staff Writer
All Rights Reserved

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