Whenever we treat others poorly, we have a tendency to blame the reason on our external environment - I had a bad day or maybe you'd yell too if you had to wait five hours in line.

Alternately, when somebody treats us poorly, we convince ourselves it's because of their inherent, unchangeable personality - she's a bitch or he's a jerk.

Perhaps we need to start looking at ourselves internally while equally giving other people the benefit of the doubt. Granted, maybe those people really are bitches and jerks, but what does that have to do with how strong our relationships are?

Circumstances will inevitably and irrevocably change over time, but how we respond to those circumstances is almost always our choice. If we consistently make bad choices when something bad happens, that tells us more about what we need to change as a person rather than how unlucky we might be.

Perhaps if we begin to look internally, we'll see the real problem could have to do with our impatience or lack of disclipine. Maybe we need to be less critical, or more open-minded to other's ideas.

Another amazing thing happens when we look internally. The external stuff becomes more easier to deal with, because well, it was never the real issue in the first place.

We find oursleves being proud that we handled a difficult situation with calmness and clarity rather than blaming our outward envrionment. We can take on more goals and challenges for ourselves, because we're aware that, whatever happens, we have the power of choice.

What we thought we could never do, becomes real potential. The impossile will fade to possible and those stairways to our goals we thought never existed become plain as day.

And even when we're put in a situation where we may not have the choice and we truly are victims, we could receive help that wasn't even a possibility beforehand.

Therefore, next time something bad happens to us and we feel like responding in a negative way, we should look inward to our own feelings and motives instead of lashing out in anger.

© Sam Leonard
Life Channels Staff Writer
All Rights Reserved

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