I just recently found out that my art class has cancelled nude modeling because a woman couldn't handle seeing a naked body. After hearing that happened, I at first felt angry, but it soon made me think of shame and how much we've let it effect us. Human shame has quite a long history, and is one of the reasons why we wear clothes. (Yes, it might have started out as a way to adapt to environmental changes but I can't name one person that isn't at least slightly uncomfortable with going out naked in perfect weather, despite the fact of it being illegal.)

Why are we so shameful, I wonder. Most of the things we worry about turn out to be not so bad in practice, and a lot of our fears really are 'just in our heads.' Also, when bad stuff really does happen, most of us act very bravely and show tremendous strength. So why then, do we let shame cripple us - similar to how we let fear paralyze us or hate destroy us.

It could be how we're not really taught to love our bodies as children. I'm not talking about teaching children that it's 'okay' to masturbate. I'm talking about teaching people that it's okay to stand naked in front of the mirror and be okay with our bodies. Completely non-sexual.

It's not just the human body we're ashamed of. Sometimes I'm ashamed of what I write, which confuses me. I wasn't ashamed of it then, why should I be ashamed of it now? Shame is similar to fear, as they both attempt to limit what we're truly capable of.

Of course, then there's the whole question about things you should feel ashamed of, like molesting a child or robbing a bank, or murdering somebody. People may argue that if one didn't feel a sense of shame, then we'd just do whatever we want, even if it hurts that other person. But then again, don't we refrain from hurting others not only because we'd feel ashamed, but also because they themselves will get hurt? If we stop from hurting other people just because we feel ashamed and not because of what it might do to them, are we really concerned about that person's well-being? One of the most effective ways of staying in relationships is having empathy for that person--to be aware of how we act and how that affects everything around us.

No matter where shame comes from and what its reason, I think we can all agree that shame is the most detrimental when it's excessive. In a world that puts modesty up on a pedestal, we more frequently question whether or not we're being too egotistical instead of too shameful. Yet since shame is a feeling, and feelings are temporary--perhaps we should try to think of how we'll feel after we face our fears. One of the biggest regrets I've heard from older people is how they wish they'd tried more things during their lifetime, and allowing fear and shame to paralyze us will only stall the great relationships we're all given the birthright to have.

© Sam Leonard
Life Channels Staff Writer
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