I think just about everyone in the world has accused somebody of being a hypocrite and been called a hypocrite at some point in their lives. I know that I’m guilty myself. I think that calling somebody a hypocrite is necessary if the person is obviously doing something to damage the relationship. However, I also believe that too many people use the ‘Well, you do it too!’ line to avoid working on their end of the relationship. If we always blame others for the reason our relationships don’t turn out healthy, they’re unlikely to improve. Taking responsibility and projecting blame are both contagious. If we practice one more than the other, people are sure to follow.

A big reason why we don’t confront the ‘hypocritical claim’ is because in our society being a hypocrite is portrayed as a bad thing. But I believe strongly that we’re all hypocrites--it’s the degree of hypocrisy that counts. If we can be aware of our own contradictions, we won't have to be on the giving or receiving end of the hypocrite argument. If a person gives us good advice, is ‘Well, you did it too’ really helping? Shouldn’t we be listening to the message and not the messenger? Everyone is capable of giving good advice, it doesn’t matter who you are. After all, why accept help from a select few when you can accept help from everyone? Bringing up the past isn’t helpful because we cannot go back in time. We can only prepare for the future.

Listening is one of the key elements in establishing and maintaining a healthy relationship. Isn’t constantly insulting somebody by calling them a hypocrite just a fancy way of not listening to people? I’m not necessarily a religious person, but I believe that turning the other cheek is one of the maturest things we can do if we don’t agree with somebody.

This problem is going to take lots of effort to solve. Making messes is easy, cleaning them up is more difficult. Perhaps we could all start by simply paying attention to our own hypocrisy, and only point out somebody else being a hypocrite when they’re clearly trying to hurt us.

© Sam Leonard
Life Channels Staff Writer
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